In Memory Of...

May is a very bittersweet month for me. I love the month of May. It is the most beautiful weather(most years), it was when school ended, really I can't complain about anything with the month of May. However, there is a very sad day in my family in May. It was the month my brother, Derek, passed away from cancer.

Since it was Memorial Day on Monday in the month of May I thought I should dedicate a post to my wonderful brother Derek.

Derek Agee Boston
December 24, 1977- May 17, 2001

Now, don't let this picture fool you. Me and Derek were definitely what you consider bickering siblings. I don't know if it was because I really disliked him(can't think of a better term) or if I just liked the fun reactions I would get out of him. Stealing his hats when I was younger was my favorite sport. We [Kelsi and I] would steal his hat every chance we got. We hid it once under the couch in the front room and seriously had forgotten where we put it. We found it a year later. Whoops.

I remember when I first heard the term "kick him in the balls" I didn't understand it...so Derek was the person I tried it out on. Oh my goodness...he grabbed me by the arm and dragged me out of Walden's books so fast. Derek, I'm so so so sorry for doing that! I learned my lesson pretty quickly on that.

He was the WORST babysitter in the world. Him and Brian would buy pizzas just for themselves. We even called Andria to get her to tell them to share with us but she was on their side (we were terrible babysittees)

However, he did have his good babysitting times too...One time when my parents were out of town he came home from work at about 11:30 and wanted to go to Village Inn so he let us put on our new school clothes(my mother was very strict about those staying in the bag until school started) and we went. My parents would leave us with money when they went out of town for "emergencies" and we would always save it up and on the last day do something fun. One year we split the money up and went mini golfing and the loser had to buy the winner their shaved ice of choice. Luckily, I was in the middle. Kelsi ended up having to buy Derek the BIGGEST shaved ice.

I wouldn't say we ever got along (Please if someone can remember do share...). We avoided each other. So I don't have sweet memories or stories...I only remember things people have told me. It wasn't until the last few months that we were semi decent with each other. I think we still put on a show but late at night I would sneak down to his room and just talk to him. I couldn't tell you what we would talk about I'm almost certain it was pretty stupid. But I think if he were alive today we would have a completely different relationship, as most 'adult' sibling relationships do.

I always think about the "what ifs..." I'm pretty sure Daren would think Derek is the coolest guy around. What if he were alive, would he have finally ever gotten around to getting married? What if he was a dad (oh my...)? And how many kids would he have right now? What would his current job situation be? Would he still love warhammer? Or, would him and Michael always be living at my parents house? Who knows...

This is the last "complete" family picture taken before he passed away. It brings me to tears every time I see it. I was so frustrated with my family this day. I HATE family pictures. Why was it so important to get this picture taken.....? Well, let's just say if we had never taken this picture I'm pretty sure neither of the boys [Michael and AJ] would be present in the last one taken before this one.

8 years have passed and I'd like to think it has gotten easier but it hasn't. Derek, you are missed!